5 common mistakes a girl makes before turning 21

# 5. Getting a fake a id.

On the surface, this seems like a great idea. Spend around 90 bucks, and you are able to buy all the booze you want, no questions asked.

Well, let me tell you the truth: there are only three types of girls who get fake ids. Fat girls, Ugly girls, and girls who don't know any better.

Listen to me: Even if you are only mildly attractive, you can find a guy who will buy you a drink. It doesn't matter if you go into to a bar and have giant Xs on both of your hands. It doesn't matter if you look young enough to barely be driving. It doesn't matter if you stand on a barstool and announce to the whole world that you're underage.

There is some poor sap out there who is willing to buy you a drink in the hopes that you will pay some amount of attention to them. (If you are me, there's a lot!) These are usually Beta males. Easy enough to find. Look for the guy who is the center of attention, then find his next cutest friend. If he's not gay, you've probably got free drinks for the rest of the night. Just make sure you pay a lot of attention to him, and show some disgust towards his obnoxious friend. He'll be eating out of your hand, and you'll being drinking out of his.

If none of this works, you are probably fat or ugly.

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# 4. Having a steady boyfriend.

Note- this is not the same as dating a guy. Dating a guy is seeing someone on a regular basis without necessarily being exclusive. (Whether he knows this or not is a totally different story...) Having a steady boyfriend means that you can barely look at another guy without feeling guilty.

If you have a steady boyfriend before you turn 21, you probably have been together for a while. maybe even since high school. And you are probably in love. (gag) You can't even imagine being with someone else.

Good for you. You never will be.

Being young is about taking risks and doing stupid things. And you probably won't experience any of this if you have a boyfriend. Why you ask?

Would you feel guilty if a guy buys you a drink in a bar?

Would you be afraid of what your boyfriend would say if he found out you accidentally kissed another guy while drunk?

Would you hang out with your boyfriend and watch a movie or something equally boring rather than go out and have a wild time with your friends?

Are you "that friend?" You know, the one who always stops her other crazy friends from hooking up or even just making out with guys they've only known for a half hour or so?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are probably a really annoying friend to go out with, and probably don't go out that much anyway. You should tell your suffocating boyfriend that you want to go out and experience and life before settling down. If it's meant to be, then it'll happen later in life.

If you answered no to these questions, then you are a shitty girlfriend anyway, so you may as well dump his ass.

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#3. Going out with old friends who are boring.

You and your friend have known each other since kindergarten. You were best pals, all the way into high school. She has a steady boyfriend, is a born again Christian, loves scrapbooking, and probably enjoys fast paced action like knitting.

She is a great friend to watch a movie with on a rainy day, great to talk to on the phone, and is awesome to go shopping with.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take her out! Especially if she is opposed to the idea to begin with.

I know you may want to take her out, get her to loosen up, and show her a good time. She seems so sheltered, you just want her to have fun for once.

This will not work.

Trust me, I have experience with this. If she doesn't really want to go, don't force her! She WILL become "that friend," the den mother, the one who decides to take it upon herself to take care of everyone. She will try to limit your drinking, tell you when you have enough, stop you from dancing (or kissing, or going home) with guys you don't know that well, give dirty looks to guys who come up to your group, and ultimately bring the night to a grinding, boring, halt.

Unless, of course, she really wants to go out - In that case, be sure to show her a good time!

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#2. Having a party at your parent's house.

In theory, this sounds like a good idea. Parents are gone, you've got a big nice place to yourself, and a large supply of booze. You'll just clean up tomorrow, right? No big deal, you'll hide the valuables, get everyone out the next morning, it'll all be good.

BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD

Something WILL go wrong! Someone will spill, pee, or throw up on the carpet. Something will get broken. People won't being willing get up and out early, let alone help clean up, and you'll be stuck doing it by yourself and stressing out.

Even when you think you've cleaned up, some asshole (probably me) will think it's funny to hide beer bottles throughout the house. Behind couches, under throw pillows, stuffed in coat pockets in a closet, in big light fixtures... get the picture? There's always something.

And, even if by some miracle, you get get everyone out, you cleaned up by yourself, found all of my well hidden beer bottles (damnit) and got rid of the obvious hangover by the time your parents get home, do you really want to go through all of that stress, just for one stupid party?

Do yourself a favor. Go to someone else's parents-out-of-town party. And hide some beer bottles for me.

Oh, and for those of you who say these types of things don't happen at your house parties, chances are your parties are boring as shit and no one wants to go them any way.

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#1. Not drinking on a regular basis.


Some people will think they read that wrong. Some people with think I meant that drinking before it's legal is a bad thing.

WRONG

Listen to me. If you like to have an sort of fun, on your 21st birthday you are probably planning to go out and get shit faced. Even if you aren't planning to get shit faced, you are probably planning to at least drink a little bit.

Trust me when I tell you this, you will end up drinking way more than you plan to. What's the best way to plan for this? To drink! Build up a tolerance, find out what agrees with you and what doesn't. For example, I found out when I was 17 that Rum 151 and I don't really mix... I ended up making out with my best friend's ex boyfriend of two years.

Yeah.

It's a good idea to know what you can and can't handle, whether you are of age or not. It's the difference between being the nasty chick throwing up in the ally, and being the awesome girl who can hold her liquor better than the boys.

Take a Joke, god damnit!

Okay, listen. I tend to make fun of people. A lot. I take any opportunity I can to laugh at someone else's expense.

Do I have self esteem issues? Am I generally a mean person, and want to see you cry?

NO.

I make fun of you because it's fucking funny.

If I can laugh at you, and the people around you can laugh at you, what's the problem? Why can't you laugh at yourself, I know I do. I do some pretty retarded things.

Some really retarded things, now that I think about it.

So, I'm not sorry if that makes you feel sad, or hurt, or humiliated. It's not my fault you can't take a god damn joke, alright? If you trip and fall, I absolutely will laugh at you! I will tell the story to all of our mutual friends until they can tell it almost as well as I can!

Besides, you know that if the shoe was on the other foot, you would be cracking up just as much as I do.

And if you say anything different, you are an over-sensitive idiot and a lying asshole.

Seriously.

Okay, this is my first post, on my first real blog, yadda yadda yadda. What prompted me to enter the blogisphere? And to use retarded ass words such as blogisphere?

Because people annoy the shit out of me, that's why.

Really, they do. Sometimes I can't believe the stupidity of people around me. Granted, I'm not necessarily the sharpest tool in the shed, but I consider myself to be pretty god damn smart. I can tell when somebody when somebody has got their head so far up their ass that pulling it back out again would require the jaws of life and a hell of a lot of astroglide.

And the funny thing is, these aren't stupid people. They are just smart(ish) people doing stupid things. Or, maybe, just doing things to annoy me. Or maybe they really are stupid. Maybe they try to use the word blogisphere in a legitimate conversation.

The worst part is, It's mostly girls. Girls! why are you so stupid? Why do you let things affect you the way you do? Why don't you live like you'll never look back?

I have decided to share my ramblings with the girls of today. I want to help girls from making some of the mistakes I made in the past, and some of the mistakes my friends made in the past.
Also, sometimes I feel the need to vent a little bit, so sorry about that in advance. I also will share some of my (true) crazy stories about the situations my friends and I have gotten into! I hope I can help some girls, or at least make them laugh.

Will I?
Stay tuned to find out.